Father Bill's Pondering 12/10
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December 10, 2023One of the phrases that causes my temperature to rise is often said as a joke but is infuriating, nonetheless. When someone talks about being manipulated by “catholic guilt” I want to ask them what makes their guilt so catholic. After all guilt is a function of one’s awareness of the difference between right and wrong. We feel guilty when our actions do not correspond to our values, to our priorities, or our integrity. Guilt is a reminder that we have missed the mark on a standard that we set for ourselves or a policy we have committed ourselves to following. The truth is that guilt has no modifier or adjective and is indeed a unique and personal thing.
We should also remember that guilt in and of itself is not a bad thing. Like the memory of the pain of touching a hot stove keeps us from touching the stove again, so the pain of guilt keeps us from falling into the same error over and over again. Guilt can be a motivator for us to change our lives for the better, to rid ourselves of bad habits, to make better choices, to avoid that which leads us away from our God given dignity.
Perhaps one of the reasons we are so reluctant to see guilt as a good thing is that we confuse it with shame. Whereas guilt accuses us of doing something wrong, shame tries to convince us that we are bad for doing something wrong. Shame can lead us to seeking unhealthy means of overcoming how bad we feel, which can lead us to more shame, and we soon find ourselves in a never-ending downward spiral. This way of thinking has left us with a culture that is reluctant to take responsibility for mistakes and spends way more time looking for someone to blame than finding a way to fix what is wrong.
Folks who talk about catholic guilt are often suggesting that what they have learned in the Church, what the Church teaches manipulates them into doing things they would rather not do. Some believe that it is catholic guilt that compels them to take a particular stand on social issues, to care for the poor and the sick, or to visit the lonely. The implication is that if it were not for making us feel guilty, we would not do these things that seem to be the obvious right thing to do.
My frustration with people blaming catholic guilt for doing the right thing is that what they are really saying is that they are being manipulated by a teaching that tells us the greatest commandment is to love one another. Catholic guilt is posited as what motivates people to stand up for the dignity of life and to support legislation that preserves and protects life at all it stages. Some of us claim catholic guilt as the reason we volunteer to work at a food pantry or to take on and active role in our parish, no one can say no to father. Catholic guilt is why we seek to be virtuous and extraordinary in a world that is satisfied with the vicious and ordinary.
Catholic guilt gets blamed for us seeking to do what is right and good. This just doesn’t make sense to me. If we are motivated by our consciences to will and work for the good of others, if we are motivated by our values and priorities to do the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, if we are moved to love one another because of lessons we learned from church, isn’t this the same as desiring and seeking to follow Jesus? If our generosity is sincere, if we are generous with our time talent and treasure are we simply responding to feelings of guilt or are we seeking to do the will of God?
The bottom line is that it is not catholic guilt that moves people to do what is right and good. It is not catholic guilt that makes one desire to be holy and extraordinary. It is not catholic guilt, the burden of lessons learned long ago, or shame for not meeting the goal that moves us to seek the kingdom of God. It is instead a longing for the good, a longing for unconditional love, longing for the fullness of life that motivates us to accept the invitation to follow Jesus, to do the will of the Father, to heed the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
Maybe next time we consider doing something being motivated by catholic guilt we should pause and reflect on what is really happening. We should realize that maybe, just maybe, what we are really doing is saying yes to the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
