When my mom was still with us, she was my most ardent defender and my most honest critic. She was constantly chastising me for not wearing my clerical clothing. When I explained to her that it was my day off, she just rolled her eyes and reminded me that priests are always priests, even on their day off. Her biggest complaint, however, was how I would walk through the church greeting people. She would tell me that I was in church and that I needed to be quiet. She told me on more than one occasion that when she was young no one would ever talk in church. I wanted to say to her that that might be part of the reason why so few people are coming to Mass these days, but this was not a debate I was going to win.

            The  fact is that this debate, about whether we should be talking in church continues to be a hot topic. There are those who, like mom, think that there should be absolutely no conversation in church. Some go as far as saying that even the sign of peace should be removed because people talk to one another at this moment. Others will say that the only thing that should be heard in church is the sound of people praying. Whether that is the Rosary, or some other prayer, once that is done silence should be maintained. Finally, there are those people who would have no restriction on talking in church. For many of these folks along with Mass being the source and summit of all prayer, it is also a social event.

            Often enough I am asked what I think should happen. Do I think that silence should be the default in the church, or do I think it is okay for people to have conversations in church? My simple answer to these questions is yes.

            Yes, there should be a great deal of reverence when we walk into a church. When we walk into a church where the Blessed Sacrament is present, we are, in a way, leaving the ordinary world behind. In church we are standing on Holy Ground in the presence of holiness itself. Our attitude, our behavior, our comportment should reflect awareness of where we are and who we are with. This is why we genuflect when we enter our pew. This is why we bow our heads, why we turn off our phones, why we kneel in prayer. In the presence of Jesus Christ, we humble ourselves in gratitude to the one who humbled Himself to save our souls and restore for us a place in paradise. So yes, there should be an air of silence in church…this silence in the light and presence of Christ we may also be able to quell a bit of the interior chaos that plagues our lives.

            Yes, there should be conversation in church. In one of the Epistles of St. John, we are reminded that we cannot claim to love God whom we cannot see while simultaneously ignoring, detesting, or hating the brother or sister we can see.(1 John 4:20) When we walk into church, we cannot take on the attitude that despite the crowd, this is just a moment for me and Jesus. Instead, we must celebrate that we are gathering with neighbors, friends, and family to praise and to thank God for the many wonderful things He has done for us. We greet the other people in the pew, and we ask how someone who has just lost a loved one is holding up. We console those who are dealing with illness, and we welcome visitors or people who are new to our parish. We say hello to that person who week after week we see at Mass.

            In hushed tones, mindful of where we are, we have conversations before Mass begins or after it is over. We do this acknowledging that when we come together for worship, we are a community of brothers and sisters. In fact, it is the Eucharist that draws us together which means we are no longer strangers. Mindful conversation, quiet catching up, gentle consolation, and a warm and sincere welcome are ways in which we prepare ourselves as a community to enter the sacredness of our gathering. So yes, there should be respectful conversation before and after Mass to build up the people of God.

            The bottom line is that where Jesus is we must be respectful of the holy place and the people who are gathered there. This means we never interrupt those who are praying, and we do not shush those who are having a quiet, respectful, and brief conversation. Whether we immerse ourselves in silence or engage in a quiet conversation with an old friend the goal must always be to prepare ourselves and each other to receive Jesus into our hearts and lives as we receive the gift of the Eucharist.   

            Oh, and to my mother, who I am sure hasn’t stopped talking since she arrived at the pearly gates, yes, I still wear regular clothes on my day off, and yes, I am still talking in church…